A wedding is just one day, but a marriage is supposed to last forever. The journey that you embark on with your partner is beautiful and exciting, but there will also be plenty of bumps along the road, and for about half of married couples, these bumps are too much to bear. Unfortunately, there is no one-size-fits-all manual on how to make your marriage last, but there are lots of little things that you can change to keep both you and your partner happy. Here are some great rules to follow to help your marriage last a lifetime.
Have A Long Engagement
You can start preserving your marriage before you even get married by having a long engagement. This will give yourself time to really think about whether or not you’re ready for marriage, and avoid you changing your mind when it’s too late. This time will also take the pressure off you and your partner to come up with the money and plan an entire wedding in a short space of time, which is quite a stressful task and can cause tension between couples.
Bring Up Your Dating Days
It’s important to regularly bring up the early days in your relationship, not to say that you miss them, but to say that you were grateful for them, and still think about them even though lots of time has passed. This will give your spouse an ego boost and will show them how much you appreciate their love and the effort that they put into your relationship. This is especially important if things aren’t working out in other areas of their life, such as work, because they’ll see your relationship as an escape from stress, rather than another one.
Get Over Past Problems
Every marriage will have had some problems at one point or another, but if you’re still together, it’s because you’ve agreed to get over these problems and move on. This means that you can’t use these old problems as a weapon whenever you fight now. When you’ve agreed to move on from something, you can’t drop it into an argument now to get the upper hand. If you’re still struggling to get past these problems, you might want to speak to a counsellor.
Bond With Their Family
When you get married, yours and your partner’s families should blend together, so it’s essential to bond with their family as much as you can. Go and visit their parents after work and go for shopping trips with their sister on the weekends, even if they can’t go too. If you don’t like their family, you have to find a way to get along with them, because they’re probably not going to be going anywhere anytime soon.
Be Friends With Their Friends
As important as it is to get along with your partner’s folks, it’s even more important to get along with their friends. After all, they can’t change their parents, but they did choose their friends. You don’t have to go out together all the time or anything like that, but it is important that you do hang out sometimes as a group so that you can get to know each other better.
Give Them Some Alone Time
Your spouse’s friends may love you, but there are going to be times when they just want to hang out with their friend and have a guys night out, and you shouldn’t make anyone feel guilty for this, especially your husband. Avoid texting them the whole time they’re out too, or you may as well be there. It’s important that you have separate social lives and spend some time apart, as you’ll appreciate your time together that much more.
Have Some Time To Yourself
You need to go out and see your friends just as much as your partner needs to go out and see theirs, so make sure that you think of something to do with them regularly. Of course, it would make sense for you to go out with your friends when they go out with theirs, but it’s okay if it doesn’t work out that way; It just means you both have a little extra time to yourselves to relax and do whatever you want, without your partner interrupting.
Be Honest & Responsible With Money
Money can cause a lot of stress in a marriage, especially when people try to hide things, so it’s essential that you’re always open and honest when it comes to your finances. If you want to get a credit card, discuss it with your partner first, and if you want to buy a house, work out the repayments on a mortgage calculator together. The bills are both of yours, so it makes sense to have a joint account to pay these, but don’t feel as though you can’t have some money for yourself too, just make sure you’re responsible with it.
Know How To Take A Joke
If your partner feels as though they have to walk around on eggshells 24/7, your marriage is going to start to feel like a chore. You have to develop a sense of humour, and stop being so sensitive and uptight when your husband is trying to have a joke or tease you. Of course, there are going to be some things that are going to hit a nerve, but rather than snap, calmly explain why you don’t find this thing funny and ask them to stop.
Be Fair When You Fight
No marriage is perfect, and you’re going to argue at some point, but when you do, make sure that you fight fairly. The last thing that you want to do is say something particularly hurtful and cause some real damage to your marriage. If you do say something you regret, tell them you’re sorry and that you didn’t mean it. You should also avoid using words like “never” and “always” when you’re accusing your partner of something, despite how irritated you may be at the time.
Avoid Trash Talking Them
Your husband is going to annoy you, and you’re going to want to vent to people about them, but when you do, make sure that they’re someone that you can trust and that won’t try to interfere with your relationship. Slating your husband over Facebook or trash talking them to a particularly confrontational friend is only ever going to cause more problems, so try to keep your cool.
Cook Healthy Meals Together
Doing something constructive as a couple is a great bonding experience and can be a lot of fun. Cooking together is something that you can do every day together, and can really give you and your partner a boost, especially if you’re cooking healthy meals. Sure, an incredibly cheesy pizza may taste great, but so do more nutritious foods, and what’s more, these nutritious meals will increase your energy levels and improve your mood much more than unhealthy foods will.
Split The Chores Between You
It is the 21st century, which means that the wife doesn’t have to do all of the chores and stay at home and watch the baby, but this doesn’t mean that your husband should be doing all the work either; You should split the chores between you. Avoid giving your chores any male and female labels, and instead, have a simple discussion about which chores you don’t mind doing and which ones you hate. If there’s anything neither of you wants to do, then you could hire a cleaner to do this for you instead.
Learn To Listen Properly
There are going to be times that your partner just wants to vent to you about their day, without very much input from you, and you need to need to respect that. Of course, you are going to want to help your husband and offer some advice, but they might not need this, and might just want you to listen. There are going to be times when you feel this way too, and when you do, it’s important that you let your partner know so that they know to keep it zipped.
Make Them A Priority
Your husband should be one of your top priorities, so you should treat him as such by doing things that he asks you to do as soon as you can. Of course, there are going to be instances when other things are more pressing, but simple requests should be fitted in as soon as you can, and the same for him with you. You should also make a point of asking him if there’s anything that he needs from you, which will prompt him to do the same. If one of you isn’t getting what you need, resentments will build, so this is essential.
Marriages can’t survive on love alone, despite how important it may be. You also need to communicate effectively, have some time to yourself, and let each other know how important your marriage is. Of course, nothing can guarantee the lasting of a marriage, but it will go a long way to helping this become a reality.
