This morning I watched a great story on the Today Show about San Francisco based author, Elizabeth Weil, who wrote a book about relationships. The book is part memoir and part self-help and talks about how to make a great marriage even better.
She explained in an interview with CBS in San Francisco that couples don’t have to wait to fix their relationship until something major happens. She says to start being proactive in showing your partner how much you care and do more things together that you might not otherwise.
And her advise to newlyweds, “Cherish your spouse – and be proactive about it. Call right now and tell him or her that you think she’s incredibly brilliant or he’s breathtakingly handsome. Put yourself out there. And when you’re feeling really annoyed and stuck, which you will one day, stay proactive. One great mental trick is to imagine yourself in each other’s shoes. Really imagine it, in detail — the specific shoes, maybe even the whole specific outfit. There’s this amazing photos series called Switcheroo, in which couples dress as each other, even take on each other’s gestures and facial expressions. It’s empathy embodied and it’s so beautiful.”
I’m sure your wondering where this is going. Your taking this journey into marriage and everyone wants it to last, so how can you do that? Here are 7 great tips on how to make your marriage last via Hitched Magazine.
- Communication. If you don’t know how to express your feelings and/or have poor listening skills, learn to get better at both. You can read a book, take a class, or get into counseling. Good communication requires both the ability to express and listen.
- Don’t sweep your fights under the rug. Do your best to resolve your first argument as soon as it arises so you won’t have the same argument for the next fifty years, in different forms.
- Remember that you love your spouse and why your getting married. You want the best for her/him. Give her/him the benefit of the doubt when you feel angry, hurt or disappointed. Talk to your partner; don’t make assumptions.
- Don’t take your spouse for granted. Tell your partner every day something you appreciate about her/him and how grateful you are to have them in your life.
- Your spouse isn’t the enemy. Your spouse should never feel like your enemy. If they do, something is wrong; remember that you fell in love with this person. If there’s so much anger that you feel like you are enemies, get help somewhere as quickly as possible.
- Gauge your marriage. Notice and don’t ignore the warning signs if you’re not talking, sex has diminished, you’re fighting all the time and you’re not happy. The sooner you acknowledge you’re having problems, the sooner you can begin to solve them.
- You have the power to change behaviors in your marriage through different tools of self-discovery. You don’t have to stay stuck in unhealthy ruts.
You can finish reading more about 7 Powerful Ways to Make Your Marriage Last by CLICKING HERE and you watch their entire segment on the Today show HERE.
Photo courtesy of prettypaddedroom.com.
