A big wedding ceremony can be lots of fun, but it can also be hugely stressful — not to mention eye-poppingly expensive. That’s a big part of why elopements are on the rise, as many couples take it back to basics with just the “I do” and the one they love. Simple as it might seem, an elopement still requires some thought and planning. If you think an elopement might be in the cards for you and your partner, these key dos and don’ts will help keep your elopement as low-stress as possible.
1. Do give some thought to location.
The getaway experience is a key part of eloping for most couples, so plan to make it somewhere special. That will look different for everyone, although many couples choose a spot with natural beauty or cultural significance. National parks, beaches and famous monuments or buildings are all popular choices. Make sure to also consider any logistical challenges that will come with the location, such as bringing a travel engagement ring if you don’t want to risk the hazards of traveling with your real engagement ring.
2. Don’t worry about social expectations.
Ultimately, there are only two people whose opinions on your wedding day truly matter: you and your partner. If you’re in love, ready to commit for life and not into the idea of a wedding ceremony, then eloping might be the right choice. What’s more, it might not be as big of a deal as you think — 21st century attitudes toward eloping have changed, so you might only hear “Congratulations!” when you break the news. As for those who seem stuck in the past: Ultimately, it’s your life, not theirs, so you’ll have to decide whose wishes matter the most.
3. Don’t do it on a whim.
You’ve probably heard of people eloping on a Saturday night after knowing each other for two weeks, but that doesn’t mean it’s a good idea. Remember — you’re still making a lifetime commitment, so don’t take it lightly. Sure, some spur-of-the-moment marriages may work out for the best — but if you’re truly compatible enough to pull that off, another few months of dating usually won’t hurt anything. When the thrill of elopement wears off, you want to know that you have a rock-solid partner who will love and support you the way you deserve.
4. Do consider informing your families.
Though you shouldn’t feel obligated to tell your family about your elopement, it can help smooth over any ruffled feathers from people who might take it personally. Consider sending out a card, video message or another missive to keep them in the loop of your life — because it’s hardly a small event, even when it’s just the two of you. Some relatives and friends might also appreciate a sentimental keepsake, such as a photograph of the two of you from the big moment.
5. Don’t forget the marriage paperwork.
If you want the legal benefits of being married, you’ll still need to get a marriage certificate from whatever legal authority handles marriages in your jurisdiction (often a county clerk or magistrate’s office). Whether you want to get this before or after your elopement is totally up to you — although you shouldn’t make it too long before or after, since marriage licenses do expire. Look up your state’s marriage laws first for answers to important questions like whether you need an officiant and which documents you’ll need to bring with you when you apply.
6. Do think about hiring a photographer.
Maybe you’re happy to commemorate your marriage with a selfie, but many couples will want something more professional to remember their big day by. That’s why it can still be a great idea to splurge on a professional photographer for your elopement. A photographer will have professional camera gear and expertise to ensure your elopement shots turn out the way you want. What’s more, if you’re headed to a scenic destination for your elopement, a local photographer can often help you find the best spots that others might not know about.
7. Don’t go in without a rough budget.
An elopement is almost always more affordable than a traditional wedding, but that doesn’t necessarily make it free. Eloping couples should think about travel costs, including gas, food and accommodations, plus the costs of an officiant and/or venue (if you have either). Even the marriage certificate itself usually comes with a fee, which can be over $100 in some jurisdictions. Try to account for as many of these as you can in advance to avoid surprises along the way — but the unexpected can always happen, so it’s wise to build a little wiggle room into your budget.
8. Do feel free to incorporate any traditions you like.
Eloping doesn’t have to mean throwing all of the marriage traditions out the window. Many couples find that some wedding traditions, such as wearing wedding attire or exchanging a certain set of vows, still hold a lot of meaning for them. For the best of both worlds, you might also consider outside-the-box updates to the old traditions, such as a black wedding dress or men’s wedding bands made from unique materials.
Now more than ever, your wedding can look exactly like you want it to — and if a highly personal and intimate ceremony is what you want, eloping just might be the choice for you. Talk it over with your partner and make sure you’re on the same page and then decide how you want to start your matrimonial adventure.
